Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize