you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
