Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
