I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
