McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
