guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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