I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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