Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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