Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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