Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
