so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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