How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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