Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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