Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
