Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize