I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
