My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
