Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
