Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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