the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
