True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
