he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
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