Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
we're so committed to being not committed
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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