it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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