She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
