going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
