just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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