i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Randomize
