New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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