fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
