Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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