You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
