dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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