how can u be prego again
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
