i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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