my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
