i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
