no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
