I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
