I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
