This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
