If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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