i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
