I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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