I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
