I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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