why didn't you poke me back
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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