Girls should come with a carfax report
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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