Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
