Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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