I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
In America we eat man semen.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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