I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
