she woke up with a sticky ear
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
