Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
