It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
