i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
