Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
