And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
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i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
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That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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