I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
