I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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