mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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