tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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