Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
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