I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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