he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
did i walk over a car last night?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
